Blinded By Passion and Getting Lost
Nobody could deny that I loved what I did, even the little tiny menial parts of it, and I knew my shit backwards and forwards. I think that was the ultimate thing, that passion, and the work behind it is what broke people down. That's how passion protects you.
I never had a clear idea of where I wanted to go, but I think that's actually an advantage.
If your passion can protect you, and if it can also shield you from judgment, then I would say use it by really exploring all of the different aspects of whatever your passion entails because then you're more worthy of that protection and you will contribute better to that creative community.
I don't know when exactly I stopped being "that Asian girl" and became Miss Info. But I wouldn't have lasted long enough to find out if I was checking my retweet counts or my Instagram comments.
When I found hip hop, that was it—that was the great love of my life. I knew I couldn't rap or sing. I don't want to dance. I have stage fright all the time. But I knew that I could document hip hop for the artist and for the people who were involved, the fans. I could find the truth, the fact, spread it and mark it down for history.
I was never driven by ambition or financial reward; I don't think you go into hip hop journalism thinking that you're going to then get the hip hop lifestyle. Those two things do not meet.
You don't necessarily set out to be a pioneer, you go out and you get lost.
Being a pioneer sounds like such a romantic term, it sounds like a great achievement, but I think it only exists in hindsight because when you start out pave a way, that's not what you intend to do. You're just running into the dark, solo, no flashlight, no plan.
What also helped me was isolation—the freedom to be odd, ridiculous, unwanted, and resilience.
Any of the tools that I have have been from my parents, and I use them all of the time: work ethics, attention to detail, respect, devotion, books—so many books—and music.
What has helped me get past fear and self-loathing has been to blinded by passion.