Life ain't easy for a two-legged dog. Senior Copywriter at Capital One. Morning person. Giver of damns. CreativeMornings Richmond organizer.

I'm a wannabe polymath. Learn or die. Ask away...if I don't know the answer it'll just be a good excuse to explore something new.

Please help me figure out how to fit more hours into the day.

Too much wisdom to list it all, but The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran is like a bible to me: "We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." - Kahlil Gibran

Bernie Sanders because he's bigger than himself.

I can laugh and cry at the same time.

I'm constantly juggling 3+ careers. I think everything's a backup career. We live in the golden age of information. Want to be something new? Google that shit. Do it and do it well.

Well among the strangest things I ever heard was when a friend of mine said "let's get some Thunderbird." I said, "what's that?" He just started to grin; slobbered on his shirt and his eyes got dim. He said, "you got 59 cents?" I said, "yeah I got a got a dollar, but don't be a smart aleck...I ain't gonna spend it on no old indian relic." He said, "Thunderbird's not an old indian trinket; it's a wine man, you take it home and drink it." I said, "it sure don't sound like wine to me." He bet me the change from my dollar...So we hustled on over to the nearest UTOTEM. The guy wanted my ID, I whipper 'er out and showed 'im. He got a green bottle from the freezin' vault and my friend started doing backward summersaults...through the cottage cheese. So we took it back to his house, started drinkin', and pretty soon I set to thinkin: "man, this Thunderbird tastes yum yum yummy, and and I know it's doin' good things to my tummy tummmm..." It's how you reason when you're on that crap. Well we got a few more bottles and chugged 'em down. I picked myself up off the ground and decided I'd go see my dearest sweet wife, who met me at the door with a carvin' knife. Said, "get them damn grape peels from between your teeth." I said, "those aren't grape peels, that's toilet paper." I could see we were gonna have a little misunderstanding and said, "you know what dear? I'll get in touch with you later." She said, "forget it man, you're never touching me again." Well I seen the light and I heard the word, and now I stay away from that dirty old Thunderbird. A message come from heaven, radiant and fine, and now all I drink is communion wine...six days a week.

The difference between your/you're and there/their/they're... and how to make an old fashioned.

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